It’s been fun.

to be continued…

Rated R for being directed by Kevin Smith. (lots of sex and potty mouth)

Kevin Smith brings us one of the funniest movies of the year AND…and… there’s lots of sex to go along!  Talk about “two birds” AMIRITE?!

In Zack and Miri Make a Porno Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks are Zack and Miri, two platonic friends who find themselves in such a desperate need of cash that they decide to make a porno to settle their debts.  Kevin Smith comes out swinging in this film.  It’s like he is trying to show people, “hey… I made Judd Apatow films before Apatow… remember?”.  You could compare the directors all day.  They both make incredibly funny movies that are often filled with just as much dirty humor as heart.  Yeah, I said heart.  But with “Porno” they also share a cast.  Virtually the entire cast of “Porno” seems to be picked from Apatow productions, with the main exceptions being Smith staples Jason Mewes and Jeff Anderson.

I pretty much liked everything about this film.  It kept me laughing all the way through and it taught me a thing or two.  If you are a Kevin Smith fan OR just a Seth Rogen fan you are going to enjoy the hell out of this film.  Rogen basically plays the same role as he always does, which is awesome.  Elizabeth Banks is great playing the usual comedic hot chick role she gets.  In the span of a month she’s in “Porno”, plays the presidents wife, Laura Bush, in W., and has a role in Role Models alongside Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott.  She’s staying busy.  It was also really good to see Jason Mewes be Jason Mewes.  He did great in his role and didn’t overdo it.  Anything to make me forget about that “Bottoms Up” film he did with Paris Hilton.

There really isn’t much to say about this film because for once, a film actually delivered.  If you watched the previews and liked what you saw you are going to get what you want.  Enough said.

Rated R for sequences of grisly bloody violence and torture, language, and brief nudity

Nails shoved through eyeballs, biting fingers off, chewing on razor blades, and listening to Ashlee Simpson…  No, these aren’t the newest batch of tortures in the newest Saw film, these are things I’d rather do than have to sit through this movie again.  Seriously.

Saw V continues the trend of ruining an awesome franchise.  In my opinion these movies get worse and worse as they get less and less original.  I thought Saw was hella cool.  Saw II was decent and had it’s part.  Saw III, or the downfall as I’ll refer to it was less than stellar but still worth my time, Saw IV didn’t even have a “surprise ending” that was key and signature to the series and just horribly predictable and at times boring, and the same can be said for Saw V.

Just like all the Saw films, Saw V is filled with a “hey I know that guy!” cast, though they aren’t even worth discussing.  No one watches a Saw movie for the acting.  The first might be an exception because I actually wanted to watch a Cary Elwes film.  I needed to fill that void in my life.  And Danny Glover too!  I mean, their acting actually added something to the movie.  That was acting in its finest!  The tone and feel to this movie is just as it was with Saw IV.  The story, directing, acting, everything, isn’t nearly as good as previous Saw films.  The traps aren’t as well thought out or original either.

I gotta say I’m happy that (and this is just my prediction) that Saw will finally not open in the #1 spot for the weekend.  All the other films have, as far as I remember.  But I’m pretty sure that High School Musical 3: Senior Year is going to take that honor this weekend.  Maybe this will be the final nail in the Saw coffin, or perhaps it will help convince the film makers to get their act together and deliver something better.  I doubt it.  Because these movies are made very cheap and basically make back their investment opening weekend, regardless.  Ohh well.

I guess I’ll feed you some useless trivia while you are here reading:  Tobin Bell (Jigsaw) had a small role in the hit TV show “24″ right before he starred in Saw.  Carlo Rota (Morris, from “24″) has a role in Saw V.  But wait, it gets better.  Back in 1999, Rota also starred in a film called….. JIGSAW. There you have it.  Your Saw trivia trifecta completed.  Sigh.

I recommend renting this.  Like get 50 people together and everyone chip in a dime.  That sounds about right.

Rated PG-13 for language including sexual references, alcohol abuse, smoking and brief disturbing war images

Oliver Stone continues string of thought provoking films based on presidents (JFK, Nixon) with W., focusing on the life and presidency iof George Walker Bush.  Josh Brolin’s career is going up, up, and further up.  Since staring in No Country for Old Men he hasn’t even stopped to look back at those supporting roles he used to play at all.  In W. he pulls off an incredible portrayal of our current president.  He had it all down.  His look, expressions, walk, talk, everything.  And make no mistake… when I say our president, I mean.. your president.  Just about everyone cast in this film did an outstanding job playing their Washington DC parts, especially Richard Dreyfuss as Vice President Dick Cheney.  Another notable performance from Ellen Burstyn as Barbara Bush. Burstyn shows us once again that she doesn’t lose anything with her age.

The film itself was very entertaining and interesting.  It was far more sympathetic towards Bush than I anticipated.  It wasn’t the Bush basing film Republicans were claiming it would be. It focuses on Bush’s faith and the psychological affect his father had on him that led him to follow in his footsteps.  W. just about makes Bush out to be a victim.  I think Stone did a fantastic job directing this movie and I liked the way it was put together.  It was some boring chronological biography and it wasn’t some over the top film that highlighted the worst of W.  It walked a fine line and gave us a fair and what I think will eventually be admited as a historically accurate bio pic.

I think this movie is worth watching for anyone politically minded.

Rated R for strong crude and sexual content, nudity, language, some drug and alcohol use - all involving teens

While not doing anything original, Sex Drive still manages to get plenty of laughs and keep me entertained for almost two hours.  It’s not quite the “Superbad of 2008″ as it tries to adverties itself but… well… actually it is the closest thing to Superbad so far this year.  Sex Drive stars Josh Zuckerman (who you may remember as “young Dr. Evil in Goldmember”) as Ian, your average “good guy” that is of course, desperate to lose his virginity.  He talks to a hot chick online who promises that if he drives his 1969 GTO cross country, all the way to see her, she will go “all the way” for him.  This gives Ian only one option.  He must steal his older brother’s (James Marsden AKA Cyclops) car and go on a road trip with his best friends Felicia and Lance. Of course they get into all sorts of shenanigans on the way and before he arrives he must make the tough decision of hooking up with a total hot stranger or confessing his love to his BFF Felicia…even though she likes his other BFF Lance.  Clearly these people don’t understand the concept of Bff.

This is one of the funniest films I’ve seen all year.  It had me laughing all the way through.  It also featured many a hot chicks.  That always helps too.  I was a little surprised at how hilarious James Marsden was as older brother Rex.  He pulled it off quite well.  As always Clark Duke was great.  He had a small part in Superbad… towards the end, he is all over the party.  Undoubtedly because his real life best friend Michael Cera got him that role.  You should check out their online show at www.clarkandmichael.com.  It’s pretty funny stuff.  Duke managed to get the funniest and best written lines and he delivered them quite well.  Another Austin Powers character found his way into this comedy as well.  Seth Green was great as an overly sarcastic, yet incredibly kind, and very Amish Ezekiel.

I feel like this could be this years “Grandma’s Boy”.  It was passed over at the box office and didn’t make any money. No one watched it.  But I have a feeling that word will get out and this movie might do really well once it hits DVD stores.  Now, I’m not saying its as perfect as Grandma’s Boy, I’m just saying that this movie is really funny, and no one is really caring to watch it.

I might not be the biggest fan, but it was cool to see Fall Out Boy make a pretty “neat” cameo and play some songs in the film, including a slow dance version of Grand Theft Autumn.  Little factoid for ya:  Katrina Bowden (30 Rock) who plays the hot online chick in this film was also in the Fallout Boy “Dance Dance” video.

So there ya go.  This comedy is considered hilarious by me and I highly recommend it to anyone who likes raunchy coming of age comedies.

Rated PG-13 for violence including shooting sequences, drug content, some sexual sexuality, and brief strong language

Max Payne might be the most painful….  shittiest thing I’ve sat through in a while, and mind you I had Crazy Fire for dinner this week!  I’m not too surprised considering John Moore’s resume has more negatives (The Omen, Flight of the Phoenix) than positives (Behind Enemy Lines).  After viewing The Omen I vowed that John Moore was dead to me, but I was all too enticed by the insanely awesome previews Max Payne has.   I should have stuck with my gut.

Mark Wahlberg is Max Payne, a bad ass cop who is trying to solve a string of murders that he has become the suspect for.  His interest in the case is intensified when he believes these murders are related to the unsolved murder of his wife.  Marky “Say hi to yo mutha for me” Mark has trouble pulling off the same role he has pulled of countless times before in movies such as The Departed, Shooter, We Own the Night, Four Brothers,  etc.  But now all the sudden he is incredibly unbelievable.  Delivering lines that are almost laughable.  But he isn’t nearly as bad as the character of Mona, played by Mila Kunis.  She comes off as a second.. or third rate Trinity from the Matrix trilogy.  And I like Kunis a lot.  But she should not have played this role.  Throw in Ludacris as a I.A. investigators and Chris O’Donnell (how far have we fallen?) as a whiny weirdo and you have one solid piece of crap.

The problems with this movie are pretty much consistent and across the board.  Acting isn’t the only horrible thing.  The writting isn’t any better.  The story is cliche and far too predictable.  The characters seem flat and have horrible lines.  But I think the worst thing about this movie is the direction of John Moore.  Who tries to put his style on every scene.  Unfortunately he has nothing but bad style.  It’s like he watched Sin City for 2 weeks straight and he wanted to mimick it… without making it obvious.

I think it’s only fair that half of the profits made by this movie go directly to the team that made the previews and trailers for this film.  Those previews looked bad ass!  Unfortunately the movie sucked ass.  I can recommend renting this movie to all the video game fans out there who are too curious to pass this movie up.

Rated PG for thematic content, violence and language involving racism, and for brief sensuality

The Express, starring Rob Brown (Stop-Loss, Coach Carter, Finding Forester) tells the story of Earnie Davis, Syracuse college hero and the first African American to win the Heisman Trophy.  Unfortunately, he was never able to play a down of pro football, though he was drafted by the Cleveland Browns, because he died of leukemia shortly after.

At first this movie plays a lot like your average inspirational “player beats odds and discrimination and rises above the rest” sports movie.  There have been so many these past years.  But The Express manages to bring a little more to the table.  Even though half the movie might take place on the field, I still wouldn’t call this a “football movie” but rather a biography.  Dennis Quad does a fine job as the head coach who has to come to terms with his own flawed beliefs concerning his African American players.  While telling them in huddle ups that they can overcome anything and beat anyone he finds himself holding back some of them.

Overall this was a very entertaining and touching movie.  Plenty of sports action too.  I highly recommend this movie to just about anyone.

Rated R for strong violence including some torture, and for language throughout

I think the biggest lie associated with this movie might be the trailer.  Damn you for being so deceiving.  What a perfect tagline this film has, “trust no one, deceive everyone”

With a talented director like Ridley Scott and two giant stars such as Leonardo DiCaprio and Russell Crowe I expected a little more from Body of Lies.  This film had a hard time keeping my attention.  I wanted something exciting to happen.  Except I got a lot of predictable boring plot.

Sure everything looked right.  Ridley Scott is a master at creating atmosphere, or worlds even.  And the performances were great too.  Both Leo and Russ did a fantastic job.  Russell Crowe even gained a bit of weight and a southern accent.  So the problem has to be in the writing or editing.  It felt drawn out and boring.  Are there some exciting parts, sure.  But not enough for this kind of marketing or budget.   This movie tries to be too much.  It isn’t much of an espionage film as the tagline may suggest.  If you wanna check out an exciting war movie I’d go with last year’s The Kingdom!  Similar in story but much more entertaining.

I thought for a long time and I gotta stick with a “rent it” for this film.  I wanted to give it a catch the matinee but to be honest if I did I’d be doing it out of principle.  Just for the talent related to this film.  And as all my friends know, I don’t have any principles.   So, I’m gonna stick with “rent it”.  Although, in all honesty, if you rent it, and watch it at home, there is a really good chance you’ll just fall asleep on that couch.  So go figure it out yourself.

Rated R for bloody violent and disturbing content, terror, and language

Yes, this movie was finally released.  Director John Erick Dowdle also has another horror movie (The Poughkeepsie Tapes) that was supposed to come out some time a year ago and now isn’t scheduled to release til next year.  What gives?  Studios don’t seem to have a lot of faith in Dowdle’s finished product.

Quarantine is about a late night reporter (Jennifer Carpenter) who, while taping a story at a firestation, follows the fireman (including Jay Hernandez) to the call of duty which leads them to an old apartment building.  Residents called for help after terrifying screams were heard coming from an older womens room.  While investigating they notice that all the doors and windows to the building are being locked/blocked off by government officials.  Of course this is where things get all effed up.  It basically turns into a virus/zombie movie after that.  Unable to escape the building everyone panics as more and more people are attacked, eventually turning into crazed rabid killers.

I should tell you that this movie takes the Cloverfield/Blair Witch Project approach of film making and is presented as if the entire thing was filmed by one camera and the footage later found.  So yes, you get a lot of out of focus shots and shaky cam.  But you also get a lot of tense and suspensful scenes.   OK.  I’m lying.  There are only about 3.  When it was all said and done the film was entertaining, but nothing special.  It was cool to see a Rated R horror movie, just because it’s been a while.  Either way, it wasn’t anything new or special.  I’d recommend renting it.

Rated R for some language and sexual material

“Geesus Kriste!”  That’s one thing Andrew and I found ourselves repeating over and over again whilst watching Religulous, a documentary that was written by and starring Bill Maher as he takes on … yup, you guessed it, RELIGION!

Fair warning, this movie doesn’t just sit back and interview religious people on their beliefs, it tries to make them look stupid.  In all fairness, for the majority of the film, the film makers didn’t have to try too hard.  Religulous is directed by Larry Charles, the same guy who brought us Borat.  You should know what you can expect just based on that.  People are going to come off as complete idiots.   I felt especially proud when the first scenes/interviews take place right here in Raleigh, NC.  YAY for unintelligent hicks.  I’m not being mean, I’m being honest.  At least they gave me a good laugh.

Bill Maher did a fantastic job at interviewing these people.  And when I say interview, I mean feeding off of stupidy and chiming in well timed quips. He did his homework and was able to shoot off lots of knowledge.  He was also able to prove himself more knowledgable in just about all the religions he examined.  Moreso than the “experts” he was speaking with.  But make no mistake, they didn’t even try to come off as unbiased.  It is edited in such a way that only one “right” side of this debate is presented, and that is the side of the agnostics.  Still, Maher doesn’t mind looking a little dumb himself.  He isn’t concerned with his image.  Or with what he says.  And why should he be?  He’s not worried about going to hell.  The real message behind this film is how scary or dangerous it is for so many different belief structures or religions to be out there, and all of them CERTAIN that theirs are correct.
When it comes to this film there are going to be three kinds of people.  Hard core religious people who will feel ridiculed, embarrased, and dumb, therefore absolutely hating it.  The “occasional Sunday” religious person that has a good enough sense of humor to atleast get a good laugh out of this movie, but will still end up questioning him/herself and therfore leave feeling a little sick.  And then you have someone like me, who is going to absolutely love this movie for saying this and questioning things the way I have for quite some time.  Someone who can appreciate the humor in it, but at the same time appreciate the frightening message towards the end of the film.  Just about every religion believes in an “end of time/apacolypse” whatever you want to call it in your religion, and it is very likely that religion itself can cause the end of us all.

Obviously, your beliefs are going to have a huge effect on how you view or like this film.  I gotta say I thought it was fantastic.