Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of sci-fi action and violence and language.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Peter Berg is one helluva actor/director/writer. Hancock might be his first crack at the superhero genre, but this movie was just as much of a comedy than an action film. The previews for this film always had me worried because it seems like the movie couldn’t decide whether to be a comedy or action film. It decided on both. Will Smith is pretty much perfect for the title character, Hancock, America’s flawed superhero. He doesn’t have too many fans, and he could care less. He gets called an asshole by just about everyone he meets, which only makes him care less. One could say Hancock is a dick. There… you have it. I know as soon as you read that I have a Hancock review up you asked yourself, “how many paragraphs before the first penis joke/reference. One. I couldn’t even get one whole paragraph out of the way. I hope you’re happy.

Peter Berg joins up with Jason Bateman again to deliver funny one liners in a serious yet joking manner that only he can pull off. As the “hero’s” new publicist he has hands full with Hancock. Do we count that as another horrible penis joke? What if it just came ….accidentally? 3? OK..seriously.. I’m done. I think. Charlize Theron is pretty amazing…ly hot in this movie. But that’s just expected by now. There’s really not else I’m going to say about her because I don’t wanna risk another horrible joke.
By the way, Hancock is rated PG-13. Which shocked a lot of the people I watched it with. You get to hear every four letter word in the book, several times. Doesn’t bother me of course. Just a fair warning if you are expecting the same kind of PG-13 as Spiderman. Make no mistake this is a superhero movie for adults. Hancock is a sexist, drunk, prick. He, more than likely, votes Republican. Ohh snap a political joke too! So, the first 30 minutes of the movie, hilarious. The second 30 minutes were kind of sad, funny, bad ass, and there’s a predictable “twist”. And the final 30 minutes are not as funny, but still pretty bad ass…and yet again kinda sad. Lot’s of emotions going on in there. Nick and Tony spent the last 45 minutes “comforting” each other in the back row of the movie theater.

So there you have it. Hancock. Very entertaining. Very funny. And Peter Berg and his ability to blend the perfect music with scenes might have you fighting back a tear or two. Easily worth a matinee ticket and damn near close to Worth Watching. If only the calibur of humor that started the film could have continued. But as you might have guessed, as the film progresses he becomes less of a funny asshole and more of a hero… Too bad!

Rated R for strong bloody violence throughout, pervasive language, and some sexuality

Wanted tells the story of a complete loser and waste of life, named Wesley (James McAvoy), whose world finally begins to have meaning when he is suddenly and violently introduced to a mysterious foxy bag of antlers named Foxy (Angelina Jolie) who informs him that his estranged father was a top assassin for a secret society named “The Fraternity”. He trains with them and learns that he is genetically exposed to BAD ASS’ness and can bend bullets through the air as well as other cool tricks to avenge his fathers death.
Timur Bekmambetov might be a stranger to most Americans, but not those brilliant people that visit www.moviesbythor.com. They know how talented the film maker is for his previous Russian films Daywatch and Nightwatch. The main character in those films, Anton, played by Konstantin Khabensky, even has a small part in Wanted as “the Russian”. But with his movies, the stars aren’t the actors… they are the directors, editors, special effect guru’s …what have you. Everyone in this movie is pretty awesome for their part, especially Morgan Freeman. But the insane action scenes in this movie are ALMOST more exciting than Angelina Jolie’s ass scene. Just as with Bekmambetov’s other work, you have to just believe what you are seeing on the screen and not question or rationalize anything. This movie isn’t made to dissect. It’s made purely to entertain. And entertain it does!

One thing I’m beginning to realize more and more (and this started with The Bucket List) is that Morgan Freeman might be a long lost relative to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I mean, I’m sure theres better pics for comparison… but you get the idea.

No need for 6 degrees….

Fun fact for ya… James McAvoy stars in Penelope (that movie Christina Ricci has a pig nose)… and who else but Morgan Freeman did the voice over for the previews! Ok, that wasn’t really fun…but it is a fact!

OK, so WANTED was everything I WANTED it to be. And yes, there will be at least one cheesy play on words in each and every one of my reviews. Just accept it. Eventually you will learn to love it. This movie was a sexy adrenalin rush that lasted for two hours. I would highly recommend this movie to action fans. Again and again.

Rated G with slight metal on metal crime.

Wall-E is the story of a trash collecting robot who dreams of finding love in line with Hello Dolly, which plays in many different brief video clips. To be directed by Al Gore, this movie was pretty good! It wasn’t quite as preachy as his other environmental films and it didn’t have his annoying voice. For some reason, Yahoo, IMDB, and the credits have some Andrew Stanton guy incorrectly listed because this was definitely directed by Al Gore.

I expected a normal Pixar film that was light hearted and extremely funny, not a politically driven film about how I shouldn’t drive my Hummer with my mini-fridge plugged in the back seat, emptying my trash out my window while drinking a mega huge slurpie and eating liquefied cupcakes, but that’s just how I roll. I don’t drive a gas guzzler, and I don’t intentionally litter, but if I want to see a light hearted kids movie, please don’t shove your GREEN ideals down my throat.

Wall-E was really good. It isn’t as funny as you’re expecting, but it’s a good story with some extremely awesome animation. It does run a little slow though. I had to fight myself from falling asleep a couple of times and my BlackBerry vibrated once which really made me want to see how my Fantasy Baseball team was doing, but by the time I reached to my pocket it was funny again. It’s not my favorite Pixar movie, but it’s definitely worth checking out. By itself it’s Catch the Matinee, but see below for further instruction.

If you’re one of the boneheads that comes in late, you missed the best Pixar short to date…Presto…I can’t find the full version online yet, but a preview is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dV0v09U30eE. It was hilarious and actually better than Wall-E in my opinion. If you get to the theater on time or early and can catch this short combined with Wall-E it is Worth Watching.

Rated PG-13 for some rude humor, action violence, and language

It seems director Peter Segal (Anger Management, The Longest Yard) has finally made a full recovery from Nutty Professor II: The Klumps. He’s done some good stuff since then, but Get Smart was the best thing he’s done since Tommy Boy. Get Smart is of course an update of the 70’s TV series that saw a couple of 80’s movies, all starring Don Adams as Maxwell Smart. I can admit never having watched a lot of the original shows, but from what I recall I think Steve Carell does a fine job filling in the shoes and suit. He is every bit of funny and charismatic with the ladies as Don Adams. If you aren’t familiar with Get Smart at all it’s basically a spoof of Mission Impossible and James Bond.
Speaking of the ladies…. Anne Hatheway is pretty amazing in this movie. I mean, she looks pretty amazing in this movie. That’s really all I’m gonna say about her. This film offers a little something for everyone. Dwayne (I don’t go by THE ROCK anymore) Johnson has a pretty good role as well. And if you’re gay and into wrestling you might also recognize Dalip Singh AKA “The Great Khali”. For all you virgins or HEROES fans, you’ll be happy to see Masi Oka AKA Hiro. Ohh…and for the college crowd we’ve even got a special hilarious scene with Bill Murray.

But Thor… what about really old people? Terrance Stamp

That it? and…and…Alan Arkin… you didn’t let me finish!
But Thor… what about TERRY CREWS AND DAVID KOECHNER! ..gahh! let it go already! Are we done? Any more questions? OK.

Sorry about that. What I was trying to say, and clearly not prove, is that this film offers some good laughs and a little bit of something for everyone out there. Except Bill O’Reilly fans. The few remaining are busy “doing it live” and wouldn’t dare leave their house in fear of meeting a minority. I think this movie is worth watching, especially if you happen to be an old gay virgin college student who loves wrestling!

Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual content throughout, language, some comic violence, and drug references

The Love Guru stars Mike Meyers as Pitka, an American raised in India who returns in order to be the number one self help guru in the U.S. He is hired by Jane Bullard (Jessica Alba), the owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs, to help the teams star player get his woman and his game back in time to win the Stanley Cup.

Sure the story is “out there” but at least that gave them the chance to go anywhere with this comedy they please. Mike Meyers, who hasn’t been seen in a live action comedy since 2003’s Cat in the Hat, makes his return in this Austin Powers like comedy. Unfortunately, this movie wasn’t quite as good as any of the Austin Power films. However, just like the Powers’ films some of the best laughs came from the cast. With hilarious comedians such as Jim Gaffigan, Steven Colbert, John Oliver, Romany Malco, and even a cameo by my new favorite stand up comedian, Daniel Tosh, this film could have been very funny. But unfortunately they gave way too much screen time to the movies main character/star, Mike Meyers. He has a lot of funny parts but only about a fourth of them deserve big laughs, unlike characters who only have a handful of lines but deliver them perfectly. I was even impressed with Justin Timberlake. Sure his character wasn’t the hardest thing to play, but watching him try to seduce Meagan Good by singing Celine Dion was rather funny. And yes, Jessica Alba was as amazing to look at as always. She doesn’t even need to talk. As a matter of fact I’d rather prefer it that way.

So overall I’d have to say catch the matinee. For the most part it was funny, but not hilarious. A lot of the jokes seem very recycled (making peoples’ names sound like naughty words, or spelling out funny stuff with acronyms) and even Meyer’s accent seemed to go in and out during the movie. The worst example of this is Verne Troyer.  I think we have enough midget jokes in Goldmember to last us at least another decade.  It’s been done.  It seems as though at times they forgot what movie they were making. Watch this movie for everyone else in it that is funny!

Rated PG-13 for sequences of intense action violence, some frightening sci-fi images and brief suggestive content

The Incredible Hulk stars Edward Norton (more like the incredible hunk….amirite? …guys? …guys? no. ok) as Bruce Banner, a scientist searching for the cure to the gamma radiation that poisoned and altered his cells transforming him into a 10 ft. giant green monster (more like the incredible bulk…. ok, seriously, I’m done). This film is directed by Louis Leterrier who is known for silly action films like The Transporter and its sequel. As silly as those movie were they were still hella entertaining. This film also had excellent writers behind it, comic book movie veteran Zack Penn and a little help by Norton himself. Based on that alone, I had some good expectations going into this movie. Theres a lot of talent involved. But in the back of my mind Ang Lee’s Hulk was there to remind me just how easy it is to make a cheesy Hulk film, so my expectations remained grounded.

I’m pretty happy with the outcome of this film. The Incredible Hulk was much more like the TV series of the 70’s and 80’s focusing on Bruce Banner’s constant running from the U.S. military and searching for his cure. Just like 2003’s Hulk there is an appearance by TV’s Hulk Lou Ferrigno and there is even a Bill Bixby reference on a television screen. Ohh, and they even used the music from the TV series. Lots of cool things they through in for the fan boys out there.

Edward Norton was excellent. But when isn’t he? Ok, so maybe his directorial debut Keeping The Faith wasn’t all that great. Liv Tyler was good since she didn’t have to talk much and Tim Roth was pretty bad ass as uber-soldier bad guy Emil Blonsky / the Abomination. Overall this movie had solid performances (as far as comic movie goes) and Marvel Studios is 2 for 2 in my book.

I did think that some of the action towards the end was a little tame and at times childish, but overall there was a decent amount of action, and plenty of Ed Norton! Also, the film was a solid 2 hours long, and it fit a lot of story into it. But for some reason I was almost ready for it to end when it did. Maybe it was the predictability of the movie? Either way, the movie was good and though it might not be Iron Man, it does have a cameo by him and is easily worth a matinee ticket.

Interesting fact 1: Edward Norton is producing a Barack Obama documentary.

Interesting fact 2: Lou Ferrigno, who played the Hulk in the TV show, not only has a cameo in this film but also supplied the voice for the Hulk.

Rated R for violent and disturbing images

I remember when M. Night Shyamalan was expected to be the next big thing in the writer/director world. His praises and comparisons to the likes of Alfred Hitchcock seemed valid, though premature, after the release of thrillers like The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, and Signs. But with every one of his releases, mostly preaching faith and belief, he lost more and more faith from his fans. Now it’s come to this. The Happening, an almost admitted “B Film” that he threw together.

In The Happening, Mark Wahlberg is a high school science teacher who is in the middle of discussing the “strange disappearance of bees” with his class when he is informed of a strange “happening”. There seem to be a string of attacks that appear to be a toxic chemical terrorist attack. People are randomly stopping in their tracks and committing suicide. Watch closely as the gang tries to outrun the wind as it seems to be transporting the threat. Yes, there is a chase scene involving the wind. I kid you not. People run from the wind.

It becomes obvious fairly early in the film that this movie is meant to be bad. The acting is terrible. I didn’t feel any “good vibrations” ….feel it feel it… from Marky Mark even. To redeem his horrible acting they casted Zooey Deschanel as Alma, Wahlberg’s mentally challenged wife. She played the role perfectly. Everyone else’s acting was pretty awful.

This is easily the “epic fail” of M. Night’s carrer. At least I hope it doesn’t get worse than this. The only thing that makes this movie worth watching are the insane death scenes. This movie asks, “How many different ways can people kill themselves?”. It’s like watching Final Destination 4: Suicide Kings. M. Night just broke his winning formula. Creep people out, then throw in a fairly cool surprise ending. The surprise ending to this film is that there is no surprise ending…. or ending…. or hardly a film. This movie is 95 minutes long, and 80 minutes too long.

I recommend renting this one just to watch a horrible acted movie that has a couple of interesting and effed up death scenes.

This just in, I was just informed that Zooey Deschanel’s character wasn’t actually mentally retarded. I’m sorry. Her acting was just that horrible. So, no, there wasn’t a single good role in this film.

Rated PG for sequences of martial arts action

Kung Fu Panda might be the most legendary tale of a legend…based on a legend to be told.  All is good in the Valley of Peace until Oogway, the omniscient master of the Golden Temple, senses the threat of the evil and imprisoned Tai Lung.  Imprisoned for 20 years Tai Lung is set on escaping and seeking the dragon scroll which is said to give its owner unlimited power.  In order to protect the village Oogway decides it’s time to announce the recipient of the dragon scroll, the dragon warrior, in a celebration being attended by the best warriors hoping to claim the prize, the Furious Five, and their master and trainer Shifu.  This is where Po, literally the biggest Kung Fu fan of the land, unexpectedly drops in.

Jack Black does an outstanding job voicing the oversized and lovable Po.  He is perfect for the role.  Other voice talents include Dustin Hoffman as Shifu, Angelina Jolie as Tigress, and Ian McShane as Tai Lung.  To get some “Kung Fu street cred” they also made sure to cast Jackie Chan to give Monkey his two lines, Lucy Liu hisses for Viper, and Randall Duk Kim (the key maker himself “The Matrix Reloaded”) as Oogway.  Seth Rogen had some hilarious parts as Mantis but unfortunately like most of the character he didn’t say much.

Kung Fu Panda was a very funny movie.  I think it’s great for the young and old alike.  What surprised me was how well the animation looked and how exciting the action scenes were.  This is the best family film of the year… so far.  I mean, the Dark Knight is right around the corner.

Worth Watching

Rated PG-13 for violence and reckless behavior

Written and directed by Garth Jennings (The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy), Son of Rambow tells the story of a pair of unlikely friends whose imaginations run wild after watching First Blood.  The film stars Bill Milner as Will Proudfoot, a very sheltered, quiet, and shy boy who isn’t even allowed to watch TV.  When his new friend, the school trouble maker Lee Carter (Will Poulter) introduces him to a Rambo film Will decides to take on a new persona, The Son of Rambow.  With the help of some school chidren, including some hilarious French exchange students, Will and Lee shoot their own film to enter into a film contest.

The kids in this movie are excellent.  For most of them this is their first movie and they completely sell it.  The movie’s tone is very childish and playful, and at times very serious.  I enjoyed Hitchhikers and think Jennings is proving himself more and more as a fine film maker.  This movie is one of those coming of age stories about kids finding out who they are.  It’s just as serious as it is funny…  but mostly it’s funny.   Did that make sense?  I personally liked this movie because it brought back so many good memories of playing G.I. Joe’s under the hot sun all summer long and acting out all of our favorite action movies while the parents gone, thinking we were invincible.

I think if they edited out a lot of the language, kid smoking, and unsafe scenes…. slapped a PG rating on this movie, and marketed it right, it would make a lot of money.  But instead they made a movie that adults can enjoy.   I highly recommend this movie to all the foreign/independent film fans out there.  Catch the matinee and relive some of your childhood.

Rated PG-13 for crude and sexual content throughout, language and nudity

Adam Sandler plays the title role of Zohan in his newest comedy You Don’t Mess With The Zohan about an Israeli commando who fakes his own death in order to pursue his life long goal of becoming a hair stylist.  While trying to capture the terrorist mastermind, known only as “The Phantom” (John Turturro), Zohan fakes his own death and moves to New York where, against his parents’ wishes becomes a hair dresser who offers happy endings with his haircuts.

Zohan is basically the offspring of Rambo and one of the Predator aliens.  He is lightning fast and incredibly strong.  But his biggest strength is his appetite to satisfy older women….sometimes much older women.  As far as Happy Madison produced movies go, this is probably on par with Little Nicky or Mr. Deeds.  I was a bit worried that this movie was going to be a giant waste of time when the first 15 minutes went by really slow, with hardly any really funny parts.  But eventually the movie did pick up, and we did laugh.  I don’t think it’s a big surprise that it was right around the time when Nick Swardson’s character is introduced.

This movie wasn’t as good as the previews had me hoping it would be.  That’s usually how it goes.  There are some notable small roles and cameos by people such as Dave Matthews, Chris Rock, Kevin Nealon, George Takei, John McEnroe,  Kevin James, and unfortunately way too much of Mariah Carey.  Seriously though…. wtf…. Mariah Carey trying to be funny is awful.

I’m gonna give this movie a rent it.  It’s worth checking out for a few laughs but don’t have high expectations.  Actually, it’s worth checking out just for Nick Swardson!